Why the Schick Intuition Razor Sucks - An Ode To Alex

The Schick Intuition Razor was once the bane of my showering existence and as such I award it the Stupidest Razor Ever prize.

You see, pre love-nest I lived with two girls. I myself am pretty limited in my range of showering products - shampoo, conditioner, bar o' soap and a razor. The end. I don't hold brand loyalty to any products and shop based on sale tags...EXCEPT for Dr. Bronner's magic all-in-one soap (get on that train kids).

My two previous roommates were not the sale product shopper types. No my friends, these girls were bonafide product-aholoics. Our shower was covered from top to bottom in the latest in greatest, gotta have it girl-crap.

Both girls had the hot new razor, of course, the Schick Intuition. You see this razor totes it's own mount for your shower wall for easy access and has a ring of soap around the razor so no more having to having to bother with lathering - it does it for you! Sounds like a gem.

Alas, as I would climb into the shower to rinse the day from my face, I would inherently knock not one but BOTH of the girls razors to the floor. Upon impact the cap would fly off, and the delightful soap ringed razor would fling to the opposite side of the shower and would gain a new giant gash/dent.

So, my wet hands had to find the soap ringed razor, try to pick it up somehow (hello, don't drop the soap gains a bit of a new meaning when the soap is encasing FOUR razor blades) and place it back on the handle of the razor. Sounds easy, it's not. The darn thing just won't click into place easily!

Once that mountain is summit-ed - you have to figure out how to get the cap back on (so that your roomates don't know you basically shattered their brand new toy). Easy enough right? No, the genius' at Schick designed a cap that's only able to snap on only when slid into place with precision. Who the heck has precision and a steady hand after flinging a razor across the shower?! So you end up trying to snap it into place only to shave off half of the highly coveted soap ring. Awesome.

Then 3 days later - the soap ring is down so far that you can't access the soap in a single swipe with the razor. So, basically it's a giant monstrosity of a razor that lasts exactly 3 shaves. I hate them. Hate.

So, when my dear friend Alex asked me the other day to go to Target with her, I said sure. But something inside me made me ask what she wanted to get. She said she needed a razor. I balked. My face got red. My eyes narrowed. I leaned towards her and whispered, "what kind of razor exactly?" She said, "Oh, I think I'll get an Intuition..." I spun around and sputtered NEVER AGAIN!!! And began the above rant, only she got the full version with hand gestures...you guys are totally missing out.

In any case, my suggestion to you - forgo the lust for the newest, most interesting razor out there....it's a giant load of poo. Save yourself the stress of the soapy razor claw game and get something simple that does what it should without all the hoopla.