Fiscal Responsibility

Cohabitation comes with a lot of perks and a lot of challenges.  Perks, well come on, they're just too many to count (my fav so far is waking up next a handsome man every day).

Some days it feels like the challenges reach up to to combat the perks and beat them to a pulp.  One of the major problems in many cohabiting couple's relationships is the balance of fiscal responsibility.  What was once all yours suddenly becomes ours and suddenly all the things you once did without thinking, require a little attention.  Things like that extra cup of coffee, or using dish soap to wash your hair because you blew your shampoo budget on that must have bottle of wine!  These things are much more likely to come under scrutiny with the whole joint expenses column added to your budget.

All that said - I kinda love it.  You see, I'm an excel nerd.  I love spreadsheets, I love formulas and more than anything - I love color coding.  So, I created a spreadsheet to track Ox and I's spending, our check register, our budget for our joint account (which I must say while terrifying to open - is probably the best thing we've ever done) and finally the variance of our spending to our budget amounts.

It's obviously early yet in our adventure - and we've not encountered any dragons yet - so who knows long term.  But the ability to look down and say - you need to put X into the account to cover laundry and food for this month still - has been quite relaxing.  It causes extreme anxiety for me, who personally has a pretty strict personal budget, to not "know" that we have money for rent and food.  The idea of funds not being allocated for their proper use -- it causes me to loose sleep (if you're confused about this - see the paragraph above where I outed my inner dorkiness).

So, to all you would be cohabitants, or even those current cohabitats that had the fight about money last night...here's my top tips:

Track your spending.  Seriously - you'll be surprised how much you spend on gummy worms and random stuff.

Plan ahead.  If you're splitting bills rather than paying jointly - make sure you're comfortable with the ones you're handling.  Know when they come in and when they are due. Have a clear plan that both partners are comfortable with, so there's no "I do more work" resentment.

And finally, communicate.  Don't lie about your debt, don't lie about the 14 cookies you bought this week...be honest.  You both have to deal with this stuff and if you're going to be late on your part of the rent - the sooner your partner knows, the sooner you can make alternative plans.