Rainbows Rock

I like the belief that rainbows are unicorn farts.

Whatever you think of rainbows...this site  is sure make you happy!

I was alone,I was all by myself. No one was looking....

My office is a ghost town today - between a monthly conference that half the office is attending until 2p.m. and illness, I've been left alone on the porch!

No, that's not some trending new statement or quaint old one either.  My company happens to keep shop in an old home, my office in particular is in what was once the old porch - now sealed in.  So, genuinely, I am alone on the porch while my fellow porch dweller's lunch with colleges.

So, what's a gal to do?  I've caught up on my day-to-day work and I'm simply in a mode of waiting for the phone to ring with some client needing assistance or perhaps an email to trickle in...but in the meantime I'm fighting the urge to nap under my desk Costanza style in my own way.

I've stumbled a bit and found no interesting articles to share, so I went on to what I do whenever I have a spare moment and am starting to get the nods...that's right folks - I burpeed in my office.

She did whaaaat?!  A burpee is a type of exercise that works most of your main muscle groups in a quick efficient and slightly embarrassing fashion (video here).  Match that up with some forward and backward lunges and a few pushups and now I'm all jazzed up and ready to take on the day!!  Or ya know, sit here and yak at my favorite readers a bit!

I started this little habit last year.  I found myself growing tired and cranky at my desk.  I was never able to get workouts in after work because I was a social butterfly, or at least pretending to be one -- so I started getting up every few hours, making my way to the stairwell at the back of the house and running stairs when I started to feel my energy drop.  I've got to tell you - best little weird habit ever!

So, tell me, what do you do when you start getting low on energy reserves at work?  What's your guilty pass-the-time pleasure for the workplace?

It's Like Riding a Bike....My Bum Would Beg to Differ

You know that saying.  Everyone does.  But when it's about getting back on an actual bicycle after a long sabbatical...does it still apply?

Research says no.  Who's research?  Mine and my bruised and battered little body's.

Ewww! This wasn't mine, but nice to know I'm not alone!

You see, I've never been the most talented rider of a bike.  There was that time in Austin, Texas when my sister and her husband decided it was a good idea to take me on a bike tour of the city... when in the span of one day I managed to fall into a shrub in front of a nice government building, run over a squirrel while screaming and get left behind at a stop light because I couldn't get my feet to work the peddles in a manner that propelled me forward.  Yep. All in one bike ride.

Needless to say when Ox's brother loaned me a bike to tool around our new picturesque town, I was very excited.  I envision myself as outdoorsy and campy; the kinda gal that can handle a bike at least.  Apparently no.

I had a decent sense of apprehension when I brought the bike home.  I hid from the children in my neighborhood and wouldn't test out the bike on week nights - "Too big an audience" and "What if they make fun of me for not having an helmet?" were my pat reasons for not taking the bike on its maiden voyage when Ox asked why it was still hanging out in the office.

Then came Saturday - no more excuses time.  Ox gave me a pep talk, helped me pick out gear to wear with such intellectual gems as "Now Pretty, you really can't be serious trying to wear flip flops on this bike."  Which I declared was my attempt at blending in and not looking like such a noob.  But then I shuffled back to the closet and dutifully changed into my sneakers.

There were no more excuses.  I walked the bike out the front door, I wiggled the seat, I checked the brakes...then I climbed on.  Holding my breath I chanted to myself "It's like riding a bike, it's like riding a bike..." and I peddled around the flat street of our 'hood.  Slowly but surely I felt a bit more secure, I fiddled with the gears and sort of understood what to do with them again.  I smiled as the air rushed by me and I felt a sense of freedom and joy as I enjoyed the sunny morning.

After my first loop I felt brave so I stopped by the house to talk to Ox about a weird noise the chain was making and to get the keys to go check the mail - I was ready for my first bike mission.

I left the house with the keys and rode on.  I was free, I was a biker!  It was happening.  So, I decided to take a jaunt down the road to the main road and see how I felt about riding on the shoulder.  I felt brave.  I nosed my way onto the shoulder, excitedly thinking about how many miles I could knock out before Ox would miss me.

I peddled along and then WOOSH!!! the first car past me.  I wobbled along, I felt a flush to my face and I my knuckles turned white.  I quickly turned into the first driveway I could and I knew that was as far as I'd go.  I stopped for a moment, feeling quite silly as a pack of teenagers rode past me on the other side of the street.  I relaxed and decided that maybe that was enough adventure, after all Ox was waiting.  So, I scurried back to the safety of our street - feeling sure no one would be the wiser for my lack of biking ability.  I'd get better after a few journeys, no worries.  I'd done well for my first trip out.

On the way back to the house I stopped by the mail.  Now you see, I'm apparently far more attractive to retailers as I get all the mail in our household, Ox gets next to nothing.   Well, at least he USED to not get anything.  But this particular Saturday - everyone decided he was a shopping god.  There were at least 3 catalogs and several letters all addressed to Ox!  It was a bit more than just a letter or two (our typical postal haul) but I thought, I'm a big girl, I used to ride one handed all the time as a kid - this is no sweat.  Plus our house is less than a block away, what could happen?

Oh yeah.  That's the thought -- ya know the one you have right before you have a serious problem - "What could go wrong?"  Oh I'll tell ya what.  I'm peddling along, down the gentle slope towards our home when I start to wobble, I drop one letter - I think, "Oh I'll walk back for that, no worries."  I try to right myself, but to no avail and then apparently in my extra graceful manner close one hand around the brake lever...just one you see....the one for the front tire.  Then I proceed to go sailing over the handle bars, mail trailing behind me.  I squealed as I somersaulted over the front tire.  The right handle bar finds safety in the tissue of my right quadricep and I collapse in a pile of mail and tears in the grass.  Ox calls from our house, giggling, "are you okay?!?"  He hadn't seen the fall only heard my squeak - I cry out "NO!"

He comes running and collects me, the mail and the bike.  I hop into the house and collapse on the floor sobbing for my broken pride, scraped calf and quickly bruising hip.  Just then I hear a small child cry out "MOM!  Did you see that!??!?"

I didn't leave the house for a full 24 hours.  I consoled myself with a good book - Pat Conroy's poetic southern novel about family, friendship and marriage - South on Broad and some classic boiled then slow roasted, finger-lickin' pork ribs from scratch (I adapted the recipe a bit and added in a full on rub).

Sunday Ox's brother called the next day saying he actually needed the bike sooner than he thought -- needless to say, I didn't give him much of a fight.

Dating Site Demographics

'Ello.  I said Ello!  (Children born in the era of Labyrinth say whatup!)

So, once again I was Stumbling - what can I say, I love it!

Anyway, I came across this lovely bit of research filled with amazing graphs and I think you all should be interested in it too!  So, I have to share.

Here's the blog from OK Trends that breaks down the peeps that are on OKCupid.

OKTrends describes itself as:

"OkTrends is original research and insights from OkCupid, the best dating site on earth. We've compiled our observations and statistics from hundreds of millions of OkCupid user interactions, all to explore the data side of the online dating world."

The most interesting part to me was the key phrases that are listed on men and women's dating profiles broken down by their race. 


You think these ladies are padding their profiles with what they want boys to read about much?!?

Enjoy!

Today Is Awesome

Image from the Small Object Project - prints available

I mean this - not in the saracastic way, but in the real, true, it's a great day today kind of way.

Sure, this probably isn't the perfect day.  Things are going to end up with poo in the fan maybe for a few minutes and sure maybe some of that poo will end up on you...but so?  Why taint the rest of the minutes of the day with the poo of a few minutes? 

Billy Shakespere had it right when he said, ""there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." The fact of the matter is you pick your mood, your type of day, you pick how you react. 

Ox has called me out on being a bit of a downer debbie as of late and he's right.  I should be ecstatic - I have a handsome boyfriend who decided to take a big risk and move away from everything he loved to be with something he loves more - moi.  How awesome is that?  I get to wake up every morning in my own bed and get to patter into my own kitchen and scratch my head and think "what the heck am I going to have for breakfast?"  Because I have a nice home and a kitchen with lots of food.

I have friends and family members who love me for me - not because I hang with Leonardo - just as I am. 

I've been tackling some family drama llama's as of late that have had my mood in the old dumper.  And I guess, I've realized that Family is a Should just as much as any of the other Should's in society and really they don't all come in the same shape, size and title that people expect.  You see just because someone's your mom, dad, grandpa, grandma - doesn't mean they're going to fit the stereotype you expect...nope in fact - they'll probably not.

So, I hope you can read the title of the blog and see the pretty print and realize Today IS Awesome -- everyday is.

Now go get 'em tigers.

P to the S - you there, you, reading my blog?  Thank you.  I'm not everything I want to be yet and I'm not really even that helpful, but you're there and that means a lot.  Thanks for growing with me.

Crappy Mood? Maybe You Just Need Structure.

I was just stumbling along ... oh, you know about StumbleUpon right?  You must.  It's vital to true enjoyment of the web...before you continue reading the genius I'm about to lay on you ... go forth and install StumbleUpon.  Your life is guaranteed to be better. 

StumbleUpon is a toolbar that plugs into your Mozilla Firefox Browser (download that here if you're still on IE) and then download StumbleUpon here and suddenly VOLIA! You can simply click Stumble! and random websites that fall into your set interests suddenly befall your screen.  Hours and Hours of entertainment...I promise (cross my heart, even).

Anyway, back to my discovery.  So, there I was stumbling along and I ended up at Dave Navarro's site (not the guitarist - the blogger) - Rock Your Day. 

The particular blog I wandered into was all about training yourself to be in a better mood.  We've all heard it - be positive, keep it light, look at the bright side of things.  Okay - super!  I'm all on board!  Until, the day that I'm not (aka yesterday) when you get yourself in a funk for whatever reason and you just wanna paddle around the pity puddle in your floaties.  Except that sucks the whole day and then you can do squat - and really our days are limited on this beautiful planet so why not work out a way to pack up the floaties for good?

Dave suggests a totally structured system to pulling yourself out of negative moods and working your way into more positive use of your energy.  This struck my uber-dork soul.  You see, I get all the free flowing positivity and I'm all about it.  But sometimes, you just need structure.  And my man Dave - he gives it to you in a compact little acronym - ACT NOW!

Basically, the key to his idea is - you take responsibility for your mood, you make a plan of where you want to go, then you decide what you need to do to get there (in a positive, non cookie hording way).  I think it's brilliant.  I love plans - I love next steps - I love Dave...woah there nelly...I love Dave's idea (better).  Anyway - check out his article and see if he doesn't speak to you like he did me.

You see I started this day out in the puddle.  I have a little case of social anxiety and yesterday was Ox's niece's birthday party.  I thought I did okay, but I guess it was noticable to Ox that I wasn't on my A-Game and he mentioned it.  Bummed that I'd be caught I started beating myself up for not being "on" and for not making a stronger effort with these new people....I worked my way into the puddle, I strapped the floaties on and I floated on into today.  But...by the grace of StumbleUpon go I and now I'm putting together my ACT NOW plan to not waste a minute more of today or any day being in a mood that just doesn't suit me...it's time to retire the floaties - once and for good.

 

It's All About Position

Ox and I are quite open with one another about, well, everything.  From joys to sadness to poo.  That's right folks, we talk about our poo.  I know!  It's taboo for a lady to even fluff around her fella...  Not in this house.

You see we are under the impression that everyone poos, more than that everyone likes to poo.  It's the removal of toxins from your body.  It's an indicator of your health and how well your system is taking on the day.  It's the perfect way to detect subtle changes in diet and how your diet is effecting your health.

And now - I'm hear to tell you you've been doing it wrong for the majority of your life.

You see in an article published by Slate throughout history it's been proven that while indoor plumbing is a blessing - we might be denying ourselves some true pooing pleasure.  The way the human intestinal track is designed it is better for us to squat to poo rather than sit.  The sitting, in fact, causes us undue stress on our bowels and our tooties...making for hemorrhoids and less than satisfying poos.  Bummer, right?

So, if this is so much better why hasn't it caught on?  Well after reading this article, I decided to attempt some stylish gymnastic moves of my own and attempt a squat at home.  After a few slips and near falls, I got into position and I must say it WAS easier.  Minus the arm cramp and the whole "if any saw this what would they say...." 

But I'd have been in much better shape with one of the custom platforms that the article mentions, that said who wants to be the first on the block with a poo platform around their throne?  Not I said the fly.

Until then I'll make due with the social norm, but I certainly encourage you to take some adventures in your poo position.  The amount of giggiling you'll go thorugh just in the one attempt is sure to shave years from your life and make your day...if only that one day.  And really, isn't that enough reason to give it a shot?!