Such A Pretty Face

My good pal and fellow avid reader sent me this fantastic book, Such A Pretty Face, by Cathy Lamb.  My pal noted it was one of her favorites and after page 14 I was already quite sure I understood why.  I DEVOURED this book in a matter of 3 days.  It is intense and wonderful and heart-wrenching and heartwarming all at the same time.

The novel centers around the life of Stevie Barrett - a now thirty something that has been through hell in her short life.  From a schizophrenic murdering mother to a heart-attack at the age of 32 due to a serious weight issue this novel sifts through Stevie's memories as she recovers from the heart break she allowed to build up inside her until her heart, well genuinely broke.

From eating disorders to multiple personalities to alcoholism and beyond...this book examines neurosis and the way that different people work through the challenges that life presents in a beautiful, non-preaching sort of way.

The metaphors through-out the novel are sharp and clear without being overbearing.  We cheer as Stevie works to find out what being Stevie means and finds out what love means - love of herself, love of the world and love of others.

What I found so wonderful about this book is not only the graphic, no-holds barred look into the mental disorders that so often tear at the souls of people but also the unforgiving way it honestly shows that not everyone is perfect and not everyone is a hero.

The novel also does a wonderful job of weaving a love story within the main characters life without that ever being the main theme for the character.  In so much, finding romance does not heal Stevie and does not make her whole - she does that, she works to fix herself, her life and her soul and reaps the benefits of doing so.  She never gives herself up to the romance in such a way that she loses herself or the reader loses sight of the true self-work Stevie is faced with.

I can't recommend this book enough, but make sure you keep some tissues on hand as you work through it.  No matter how stable you are this honest book is sure to explore some deep wounds and make your breath catch as the tears fall in a refreshing release that can only come from true, honest writing.

A perfect read.

Oh the silly things I do because I'm cheap

I'm cheap.  I have trouble spending money and I horde it until then I go on a crazy spree for a day, then follow that spree up with months of guilt-ridden hording again.  I'm just silly like that.

Recently I've been growing my hair out.  I whacked it off in a moment of - "I'm changing my life darn it!!!" and have spent every day since growing it back out.  I'm just silly like this too.

Well being the cheapymccheappants that I am - I got a giant bottle of conditioner at TJMaxx for $10.  Go me, I thought, it was Rosemary Mint, made by a reputable brand not the original maker of said flavor? scent? whatever. I thought I'd done a good thing.

My long lost soul sister

You see, I don't buy or use hair products, so a splurge of $10 on a giant bottle would be a-okay.  I don't use hair products because I'm traumatized by them.  You see...when I was 15 I dated a boy who I desperately wanted to impress.  So, he was taking me to a party one night and I was so excited -- he was older and so were his friends.  I had to look amazing!  Amazing to the 15 year old me meant hair spray, lots of hair spray.  Short story my hair was crazy crunchy and he made fun of me.  No products since for this broad.

Day 1 &2 of conditioner - my hair is kinda weird, but smells awesome, I blame the weirdness on the weather.

Day 3 & 4 of conditioner - my hair is still weird and beginning to have less amazing odor.  I figure, I'm getting used to scent, and my hair is boycotting going to work, no bigs.

Day 5 of conditioner - my hair is still weird and I notice a slightly less that lovely odor coming from my hand as I raise it to apply said conditioner.  Needless to say, that was the end of conditioner.

A good friend suggested a specific brand of conditioner to me and I said "Sure! I'll pick it up after the gym tonight!"  Alas, after the gym came and I couldn't bring myself to spend money on conditioner again, plus the whole Sodium Lauryl Sulfate making your hair fall out debate terrifies me and most brands carried at the local CVS are chock full of the stuff.  I decided I'd wait until my hair fell out or I got paid again instead.  I didn't want to dip into my hording pile for something that has more natural ingredients just yet you see.

But that left me in a quandary.  I can't not use conditioner, I have curly hair!! How can I salvage this situation!?

Then I started to think old school -- we're talking Roman Times old school.  I got inventive and historic all in one fell swoop. I considered, what did they use for moisturizer in historic times?  (remember I was just reading a book set in the 2nd century and they talked all about beauty products!)  The answer?  Olive Oil.  That's right folks, I decided to use Olive Oil.

So, before my shower, I google my historic idea and find others in support of my hair-brained solution to my self inflicted problem.  I generally try not to use too much non-natural stuff on my body and hair, just another quirk of mine.  I didn't want to just pour my olive oil over my head, that seemed too uneven an application and messy too.  What to do?  Then I remember that in my cheap style I have this most amazing kitchen tool - The Misto - it saves me from buying Pam and other gross stuff filled cans to keep my food from becoming one with the pan.

So, I troted into the kitchen, grab The Misto (best thing ever, can't say it enough) and proceed to apply it much like I did the hairspray back in my youth, I went crazy with the stuff -- people don't change folks, it's proven. 

Soft, but flat hair.

Anyway, end result is my hair is crazy soft today, I mean awesome, but sort of flat.  Which isn't ideal either, but at least it's shiny and soft!  I'll definitely keep up the olive oil routine for softness, but I'm not sure how to also get my curls to well, curl while using this technique.  More research is needed and probably I should explore some more modern techniques as a long term solution.

Anyway,  for a quick and easy hair masque I think I'm going to do this at least once a week going forward - my hair was that soft!

Oh, I know you think this is sad and sort of twisted.  But wait. Just  wait until I break the story on how I used vinegar to make my hair shine. Pure Awesomeness.

Until next time...

Online Savings

As we near the first of two family filled whirlwind holidays - I'd like to remind you online shoppers of my favorite little trick.

ONLINE COUPONS!!!!

There I said it.  Please tell me that each time you make an online purchase you Google the store's name with the word coupon after it just before you check out.  If you don't, you're missing out on serious opportunities my friends.

Free add-ins, discounts on shipping, discounts on bottom-line...they're there and it only takes an extra minute to do a quick check in a second tab, copy a discount code then plug it into your checkout.  Volia, magic extra savings.

So go forth and save friends, go forth and save.

Coffee Additives

Recently my sister (my food-loving idol) texted me asking, "Have you ever heard of putting a dash of salt in your coffee grounds?"

I had not heard of such a thing dear reader, but quickly the power of the interwebs quickly informed me that I was sorely missing out on a hot new way to make your crappy coffee better (my cheap heart sung loudly and proudly).  A quick search on the topic turned out a Chowhound (if you don't know about Chowhound, you should learn - best community driven food site in the history of the internet - restaurant reviews, recipes, best practices...) and this post came up.

I was sold.  For years, we (sis and I) have been adding a dash of cinnamon to coffee grounds for a subtle sweet flavor (we swore off sugar in our coffee a while back)...but salt?!  This was uncharted territory.

With the rage of salted carmel that began late year (maybe the one before) this wasn't too far a strech of the imagination - however it was still foreign.

I don't drink much coffee, but I had to try it.

Lickety split - I ran to my co-workers coffee maker and doctored up what I assumed was going to be the most awesome pot of coffee ever.  I measured my grounds exactly and then I ran to get a salt packet from the lunch room (glowing in my pride of resourcefulness) and I dumped the lil' packet in (maybe a 1/4T) and set the wheels of the coffee gods in motion.


What I didn't take into consideration was the fact that I was working with a 4 cup coffee maker.  So, when I raised my amazing creation to my lips, eager for a treat - I was smacked in the face with salty, gross gross flavored, incredibly smooth coffee.

The next day, I tried again, only this time I added a mere pinch of salt to my grounds and the change in my coffee was simply astounding.  Really, the cheap Folger's coffee I had hidden in my desk suddenly had a wonderful round flavor without any of the bitterness that so often accompanies it.

In short - I love this idea and HIGHLY recommend it -- but do yourself a favor, use a pinch of salt, not a packet.

Why Does Everyone Treat Me Like Crap?!

"If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself.  Unless you learn to love yourself fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved." 

- One of The Forty Rules of Love

That's right.  I'm beating this book to death.  I told you I would, so please, don't be surprised. These lessons are simply just too important to let go of and I love that I now have a platform to jump off of to tell you and me about this!

So often in life I/we feel mistreated by others.  We wonder why everyone in our life feels toxic, why people take us for granted, why they don't love us as we love them.  

I highly recommend checking out this site 100 Ways to You can Start Loving Yourself and seeing if any of these options might fit neatly into your life.  Honestly, I feel a surge of "I can do this!" when reading this artfully written guideline post.

It is only once we begin to love ourselves, have respect for ourselves and our boundaries and truly believe at the core that we are wonderful, loving individuals as we are that we will begin to see that those that treat us poorly either fall away or learn to treat us well.  These people are challenges presented in our lives, to test our own self love.  As such, you choose to pass or fail.  If you do not believe yourself a good person, you will allow others to treat you poorly and believe you are "deserving" of such treatment.  So, rather than try to change their mind - work on your own.

Here are a few more people that explore this topic from a more educated angle, should you crave that kind of explanation:

Linda Binns - The Feng Shui Success Strategist - How well do you treat yourself?

Midwest Stress Center Coach - Tami Walker - If You Don't Love Yourself How Can You Love Anyone?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. - What Really Creates Happiness?

"Fret not where the road will take you.  Instead concentrate on the first steps."

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Happy Friday All Ya'll!!

While I was sitting waiting on my train this morning, I heard a song on the radio that took me back...way back...to the first grade talent show.

In the show I danced with my group to "Your Momma Don't Dance" - my mom made us poodle skirts, with sequins.  What a good momma she was.

The other group did a wonderful rendition of "Don't Worry, Be Happy!"  They wore straw hats and Hawaiian shirts and did jazz hands on each side of their face as they swayed to the entire song.  Magical memory I tell you...

So, enjoy the following video and I hope it shapes your Friday in the same way it shaped mine.  I mean, why not be happy?


BOBBY MCFERRIN-DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY
Uploaded by pierrot77. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Enneagram

Pretty

Ox

You know how horoscope sites always have a Love Chart?  They're fun and always seem to nail the personality on the head, but are still ya know, just a horoscope.

Well, I was stumbling the other day and came upon this excellent love chart based on Enneagram tests.  It's fun because this author did a full study of marriages and how people naturally partnered up.

So, naturally I fire off an email asking Ox to complete this particular Ennegram test immediately and I also do the same.  I wanted to see how readily we fell into the research provided and also, how likely it was we'd stick around because honestly kids?  Some days I feel like we're on different planets or wish we were (but I don't want him to go too far, like another galaxy, so I can still stalk him with my telescope).

Anyway - Mr. Man's research is dead on.  Ox and I fell into the highest occurring group for our particular numbers.

I personally am a 1 (reformer) and he is a 9 (peacemaker).

Meaning his key motivators are: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

And mine are: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.

How exactly those two personality groups are the most likely to match up is beyond me, but it was a fun little experiment for sure.  Probably just as reliable as the Love Charts, but hey equally as fun!!  Plus, it's comforting knowing I'm not the first girl to hunt down a totally passive and sweet boy and torment him regularly!

So, try it out.  It's interesting what the results are and even more interesting to see if you're in a common partnership, or if you're an outlier!