Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fiscal Responsibility

Cohabitation comes with a lot of perks and a lot of challenges.  Perks, well come on, they're just too many to count (my fav so far is waking up next a handsome man every day).

Some days it feels like the challenges reach up to to combat the perks and beat them to a pulp.  One of the major problems in many cohabiting couple's relationships is the balance of fiscal responsibility.  What was once all yours suddenly becomes ours and suddenly all the things you once did without thinking, require a little attention.  Things like that extra cup of coffee, or using dish soap to wash your hair because you blew your shampoo budget on that must have bottle of wine!  These things are much more likely to come under scrutiny with the whole joint expenses column added to your budget.

All that said - I kinda love it.  You see, I'm an excel nerd.  I love spreadsheets, I love formulas and more than anything - I love color coding.  So, I created a spreadsheet to track Ox and I's spending, our check register, our budget for our joint account (which I must say while terrifying to open - is probably the best thing we've ever done) and finally the variance of our spending to our budget amounts.

It's obviously early yet in our adventure - and we've not encountered any dragons yet - so who knows long term.  But the ability to look down and say - you need to put X into the account to cover laundry and food for this month still - has been quite relaxing.  It causes extreme anxiety for me, who personally has a pretty strict personal budget, to not "know" that we have money for rent and food.  The idea of funds not being allocated for their proper use -- it causes me to loose sleep (if you're confused about this - see the paragraph above where I outed my inner dorkiness).

So, to all you would be cohabitants, or even those current cohabitats that had the fight about money last night...here's my top tips:

Track your spending.  Seriously - you'll be surprised how much you spend on gummy worms and random stuff.

Plan ahead.  If you're splitting bills rather than paying jointly - make sure you're comfortable with the ones you're handling.  Know when they come in and when they are due. Have a clear plan that both partners are comfortable with, so there's no "I do more work" resentment.

And finally, communicate.  Don't lie about your debt, don't lie about the 14 cookies you bought this week...be honest.  You both have to deal with this stuff and if you're going to be late on your part of the rent - the sooner your partner knows, the sooner you can make alternative plans.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Ebb and Flow --- Sometimes you just have to be a noob

I am not particularly a religious person - besides the occasional generic prayer for some poor soul to have kindness directed at them or the moment of pause I always have at the sight of emergency vehicles (Please God let things be okay for them...)  Even these moments are simply my way of directing positivity towards negative situations rather than expecting an actual response from a deity of my choosing.

I however do believe in The Flow - generally speaking it's the idea that life gives you what you need at any given moment.  If you keep doing the wrong thing The Flow will put you in a cyclical existence until you get the point.  And if you fight The Flow, well, you'll often wish you didn't.

All that said - I don't believe in a life full of waiting for a "sign" or not doing things because you've not "felt the flow tell you."  It's a weird balance to strike.  Often, the underlying mantra in any lesson I feel I'm learning is the famous "Let it Go" and let whatever I'm trying to battle against work itself out.  Very similar to the Buddhist idea of non-attachment.

So, how do you strike a balance between letting The Flow carry you and still know when to put in effort to make something happen?  I find myself in a place of learning that balance.

You see, I went through a long time of fighting the flow and wanting what I couldn't have.  So, I had to take pendulum swing over to the side of extreme floating...but now that I've achieved what I consider a good life balance (happy at my career, in a healthy relationship, etc) I feel it's the time to take that one step forward and hone my sweet Flow skillz, if you will.

I come from a family of people who want the end goal, but not the work to get there.  I also have a tendency for this same line of thinking, that focus on the end game rather than the joy of getting there (who doesn't want the million dollar idea RIGHT NOW!?!?!).  The trick now is how to organically go through growth in something without focusing too much on the end game.  And so, that is my personal goal for 2011 (one of many).  To grow in areas that intrigue me, without pushing too hard or looking too much at the potential big picture to stop me in my tracks.

My recent goals surround learning a new language (just for grins - check out these excellent language lessons through Mango software provided by the library for FREE!!), perfecting a Paletas recipe (to eventually have a stand!), writing in this blog (to hone my communication skills) and learning Excel/programming language better to help perfect my personal and joint budget tracking and to understand software better.

These all sound like fine goals - but for one of these such goals - I caught myself today after just putting my toe in the water of the idea - looking at all the ways I could do it better, could make it faster, stronger, leaner...then I realized I was psyching myself out from taking step one by already critiquing it as not the best I could do. 

So, my personal lesson of today was "Sometimes you have to be bad at something before you to get to be the best."

The Joys of Public Transportation

Hello and happy beginning of the week.

I ride public transportation to get my bum to my office everyday. I think it's the best thing since sliced bread -- but many people have complaints about public transportation. While I'm fully aware of the loud-talkers, slow schedules and occasional smelly folk -- I'd like to be the first to use the title of this blog in a non-sarcastic way.

On my ride home Friday (I take both a bus and a train) I got to see some of the best of humanity. On the bus - a mother with three small children was exiting and the littlest girl (obviously spunky) JUMPED for her life from the stairs of the bus. Her little brother snatched her up by the hand and in a worried tone said "Don't you EVER do that again" -- which caused the rest of us on the bus to break out and giggle - including the bus driver who had the biggest smile I've ever seen.

Then on the train leg of my journey - still smiling at the sunshine I stared out the window contemplating my weekend plans. Watching the trees gradually bow to the up coming season change, noticing the tops of the boughs marked with the occasional red/yellowish hue, I felt overwhelmed with a sense of peace and joy.

Just as I settled in and really started enjoying my ride - right when I thought it couldn't get better...it did.

As we past through a station I saw the inbound platform, full of people waiting to get to the city. Some were reading, some were chatting with other passengers --- and then I saw the most fantastic young man.

He stood away from the rest of the passengers, toeing the STAND BACK line. He was rocking out with his IPod and doing the best robot I've seen in years. Yes, folks - I saw a young man doing the robot randomly in the countryside from a speeding train.

I knew this weekend was going to be tops and it was...I hope you can take the time to appreciate the positives as you journey through your day. And may they be plentiful.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Oh Hello There

Hey there -
So how's the week been going? Good? Good.

Mine's been something like this ... "I should blog." big pause. "I've got nothing to say." bigger pause. Repeat several times a day.

I'm afraid that's a bit of a lame way to start a blog, but I figured if I started by writing that something authentic might follow, some real gem of genius might strike.

Still waiting for the strike.

So on that note - it's nearing the end of summer - I hope you rock the socks off of it. I'll try to do the same and mayhaps even come up with something interesting to read at the same time.

Ta Ta For Now...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My own personal Science Fair

Last night I succeeded in an impossible task...an amazing feat was completed and I have bacon to thank for it.

You see last night we had bacon wrapped chicken with a side of salad.  That's right folks, I served Ox salad...AND HE ATE IT ALL!


I'd like to thank the academy and all the little people that helped me in this win:

First of all - Balance Rock Farm - God bless you and the most amazing bacon on the planet.  We picked this up at the local farmer's market last weekend and I've got to tell you I can't wait to taste the eggs we scored and the myriads of other face this amazing local farm offers.  This bacon really sealed the deal. Since Balance Rock is so close I hope to go visit the farm one of these days to thank them personally!

Our second amazing players in this symphony of local flavors are the AMAZING greens.  Olivia's Organics is an amazing local company that packages greens in such wonderful medleys of flavors that I find myself eating them without dressing, just to taste the amazingness.  Which is IN FACT how I served it to Ox last night - just a handful of beautiful Olivia's Organics topped with the following leading character....

Golden Beets.  Have you had them?  I hadn't - they're perfection.  Also one of our purchases from the farmer's market this weekend...these bad boys sliced up into such beautiful color and complemented the smokey goodness of the miracle bacon...it was truly a flavor symphony.  I fear I've forgotten the name of the exact farm I got these from but click here for a list of most of the vendors at the local market I was at.  I know Nagog Hill Farm was also there as I got some amazing Pears and Peaches from them too!

Anyway - the recipe I made was a twist off of an all recipes classic: Bacon Wrapped Chicken.

I opted instead to simplify and just cut the chicken breasts in half, wrap in the most amazing bacon ever and put them in cake pans (random, yes).  I then emptied 1/2 a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup into each cake pan (count - 2) and then poured over it the glops (technical term) of soup to make a sauce to bake the chicken in. Then I popped these bad boys into the oven at 325F for an hour.

Once the chicken was good and cooked (after the hour) I removed the pans and used a slotted spoon to pull the chicken out of the sauce and put on a plate for later.  The bacon smell was intoxicating, but I fought through.  I combined the sauces into one cake pan, then I put that on a burner on the stove to reduce.  I added about 2 tablespoons of cream to the sauce then put it at a simmer.

After about 5 minutes of a good strong simmer, I felt it wasn't getting thick enough so I pulled what I thought was corn starch down from the cupboard.  I sprinkled a little in and suddenly my sauce was all fizzy!!  Volcano project visual, anyone?  Anyone? Anyway, yeah...that was baking soda.  Awesome. Not deterred, I tasted the sauce and the baking soda only caused a chemical reaction to delight the eye - not the palate, so the sauce got a sprinkle of the REAL corn starch and thickened right up.

In the end, I plated the chicken, drizzled it with the sauce (remember the most amazing bacon cooked in this sauce...flavoring it perfectly) then had a handful of the greens topped with golden beet slices.  Perfect. Meal.

I'm not only proud of this meal because Ox actually ate it and said it was good.  But also because a lot of the players in this meal are local.  Meaning - less fuel cost to get them to me, they're actually naturally in season - so picked recently and not rotting on trucks for weeks AND I'm supporting my local economy -- all while having a foodgasm.  It doesn't get much better.

Currently, on the commute to work I'm reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - it probably inspired several of my comments above.  In general, it promotes a local food culture and I'm buying in 100%.  Funny enough - I've had the book for sometime and couldn't get into it.  But once I moved out to the new digs, away from the city and into a community founded around farming it suddenly began speaking to me.  It's a great read and certainly offers up a new view on why eating locally isn't just food snobbery, it's common-sense.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Symbiotic Grocery Shopping

Cooking for two is much easier than for one in some respects.  You don't end up eating the same thing everyday, less math is involved with recipes...good stuff.

However, if your palate is significantly different than say your significant others' - it's an uphill battle to meet both people's wishes while keeping on a budget.

To attempt to thwart overspending and also to be more organized - I've been putting together shopping lists and menus for the week for Ox and I.  My first week I borrowed from the domestic genius Martha Stewart - in her Everyday Food magazines there is always a weekly menu and a tear out shopping list.  Awesome.  Even more awesome?  The fact that you can find these lists here for free without a subscription on Martha's site: http://www.marthastewart.com/menus.

The first week Ox only hated one of the 6 meals - that's a pretty good ratio considering this man loves mac and cheese.  But this week, I wanted to fly free - or thought I did.  So, I pulled out a few cookbooks, a pen, paper and started trying to make something work using the ingredients we picked up at the local farmer's market.

The problem of trying to best a master is that they cover the subtlies without you knowing it.  You see, the professionally published menus I was using did a great job of using something in several dishes to make shopping more efficent.

But, I'm a budget shopper, I won't go buying 50 things for one meal...well not every week of course.  But there's always a time to expand a pantry.  So, balancing the budget and tastes and still making out without feeling like I'm missing out -- that's today's goal.

The menu so far this week is going to be:
Sunday - Polenta with Asparagus and creamy mushroom sauce (Martha)
Monday - Baked chicken with bacon (I've yet to acquire that recipe, but will iron-chef it out)
Tuesday - Meatloaf (traditional - adapted from Alton Brown's masterpiece - I'm adding jack cheese through the center)
Wednesday - Chicken Stir-fry with snow peas and carrots
Thursday - Andoullie sausage, chickpea and chard frittata (adaptation of this food52.com recipe)
Friday - Spaghetti and meat sauce
Saturday - Eggs in a nest (from the Animal, Vegetable, Miracle site)

Last week our grocery store trip was around $100 - I'd love this week to be half that.  We've spent $20 (farmer's market) already on food this week leaving $30 for the above mentioned recipes -- note we have a well stocked pantry/fridge with lots of excess "face" aka meat.

Let's see if it happens when we hit the store tonight!

At the end of the day, we spent $40 - so only $10 over budget - a nice beginning if I do say so myself!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Twenty Something's - Defining an age group ... is it just an excuse?

The New York Times recently posted this thought provoking article: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html

It's a thought piece on the whole laze' fair attitude that runs rampant amongst the 18-25 year olds of our country.

I for one, am on the later side of 20 and I can fully relate to the idea of a period in life where I felt lost, where I was introspective and self-centered - it was Tuesday and I was trying to figure out how to maneuver my new train ride to work and it made me cranky and sad.

That said, I think there's a lot of interesting points in this article.  It notes that in 1970 there were 5 main milestones for a person to pass through to be an "adult" - things like not living at home with the parents, having a full-time job, being married, etc.  The article notes that nowadays you see the average 25 year old as having past maybe 3 of these milestones rather than the whole shebang as was the norm in the 1970's.

The researchers behind this idea of "Emerging Adulthood" liken the idea of the slow development into "real life" of today's 20-something to that of the discovery of Adolescence way back when.  Society had to adapt to that real and true developmental stage with middle schools and other civic responses to a real, honest time in ones life that is different from childhood, but not quite adult.  So, what would the adaptations be if "Emerging Adulthood" became recognized?

I can't say that there wasn't a time in my life where I needed time for self-discovery and variety...I mean as I read this article I readily said, yes to most of the things that they mention as being markers of "Emerging Adulthood" -- however I'm not sure what assistance anyone calling that time in my life by name might have provided.  Nor can I suggest ways society might better supported my general "What the heck am I doing with my life phase" (like I said I'm much closer to 30 than 20 and I'm still questioning that daily).

With all that in mind, a collegue of mine mentioned her brother-in-law having trouble connecting with his early 20-something daughter.  At which point I brought up this article and provided it to her...which caused her to be delighted.  The reason?  Because now her brother-in-law had a jumping off point on how to connect with his daughter and perhaps if nothing else, offer some symphathy rather than assuming it was just her that couldn't seem to make the tires hit the pavement of life.  So, maybe giving something a name can help...if only in our perception.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why the Schick Intuition Razor Sucks - An Ode To Alex


The Schick Intuition Razor was once the bane of my showering existence and as such I award it the Stupidest Razor Ever prize.

You see, pre love-nest I lived with two girls. I myself am pretty limited in my range of showering products - shampoo, conditioner, bar o' soap and a razor. The end. I don't hold brand loyalty to any products and shop based on sale tags...EXCEPT for Dr. Bronner's magic all-in-one soap (get on that train kids).

My two previous roommates were not the sale product shopper types. No my friends, these girls were bonafide product-aholoics. Our shower was covered from top to bottom in the latest in greatest, gotta have it girl-crap.

Both girls had the hot new razor, of course, the Schick Intuition. You see this razor totes it's own mount for your shower wall for easy access and has a ring of soap around the razor so no more having to having to bother with lathering - it does it for you! Sounds like a gem.

Alas, as I would climb into the shower to rinse the day from my face, I would inherently knock not one but BOTH of the girls razors to the floor. Upon impact the cap would fly off, and the delightful soap ringed razor would fling to the opposite side of the shower and would gain a new giant gash/dent.

So, my wet hands had to find the soap ringed razor, try to pick it up somehow (hello, don't drop the soap gains a bit of a new meaning when the soap is encasing FOUR razor blades) and place it back on the handle of the razor. Sounds easy, it's not. The darn thing just won't click into place easily!

Once that mountain is summit-ed - you have to figure out how to get the cap back on (so that your roomates don't know you basically shattered their brand new toy). Easy enough right? No, the genius' at Schick designed a cap that's only able to snap on only when slid into place with precision. Who the heck has precision and a steady hand after flinging a razor across the shower?! So you end up trying to snap it into place only to shave off half of the highly coveted soap ring. Awesome.

Then 3 days later - the soap ring is down so far that you can't access the soap in a single swipe with the razor. So, basically it's a giant monstrosity of a razor that lasts exactly 3 shaves. I hate them. Hate.

So, when my dear friend Alex asked me the other day to go to Target with her, I said sure. But something inside me made me ask what she wanted to get. She said she needed a razor. I balked. My face got red. My eyes narrowed. I leaned towards her and whispered, "what kind of razor exactly?" She said, "Oh, I think I'll get an Intuition..." I spun around and sputtered NEVER AGAIN!!! And began the above rant, only she got the full version with hand gestures...you guys are totally missing out.

In any case, my suggestion to you - forgo the lust for the newest, most interesting razor out there....it's a giant load of poo. Save yourself the stress of the soapy razor claw game and get something simple that does what it should without all the hoopla.

Cohabitation Log - Day 5

I had grand aspirations for this little blog idea ... I was going to blog everyday of our little cohabitation experiment, I was going to be diligent, I mean, I have 2+ hours of public transportation commuting downtime to rock this out, how could I not?!

Unfortunately...I was tired and we didn't have the interwebz until yesterday and well, we've been busy getting settled (I've not even sent photos of the new place to my fam! gasp!)....so day 5 for the start it is!

Our story is pretty typical - boy meets girl. Girl befriends boy. Boy and girl decide friendship is too much work, stop talking. Girl decides boy is awesome and devises a plan to re-win his friendship and eventually his heart. Boy shoots girl down. Girl tells him he doesn't know what the heck he's talking about and forces him to date her. They live happily ever after.

Okay, so maybe not the most typical 2 year courtship, but it certainly worked for us. Now we're all snuggled up in our love-nest (Day 5 - I can call it a love-nest since I can count the piles of stuff that needs a place to go on our floor on one hand)....awwwww.

So it's us, chillin' in the love-nest...and me trying to be Doris Day. On Day 3, Ox says to me, "Pretty,"...get it? PrettyOx? I'll tell the story of the nicknames later... Anyway, Ox said, "Pretty, I need some dessert for lunch, I didn't have one today and I was sad." (yes folks, I'm dating a 3rd grader) We didn't have any from the store because well, I like to cook and darn it I'm a real woman, I can make my man some sweets! So, I decided to make some cookies to surprise him when he got home.

I scoped the landscape of the love-nest: Ingredients? Check. Kitchen unpacked and organized so I can find tools for project? Check. Functional oven? Check. Away we go!

I prepare and get the cookies in the oven...feeling quite fab about my domestic bliss, then pull them out at just the right time (quite a feat for a brand new oven, ifidontsaysomyself). I go to place them on the top of the oven, which was covered with dishes drying...and turn around with a satisfied smile on my face...CRASH!!!!!

Yup, fresh cookies all over the kitchen floor (freshly scrubbed people, we just moved in!).

I did not cry, not one tear. I just stood there staring at the pan thinking, I wonder if that will melt the flooring...then I jumped into action thinking heck, that might really melt the flooring! I scooped up the pan and looked at what was left of my cookies.

All in all they fared pretty well, so I scooped them up and put them on a platter. Nar a stray fuzz ball in the bunch.

When Ox came home from work I beamed a smile at him and offered him a cookie. He was delighted.

It wasn't until this morning that I said, "Oh dear man who I love....those cookies? Ya know how they were kinda wonky and misshapen? Yeah well, I dropped them on the floor and had to scoop them up and I didn't tell you because I knew you might not like dinner (did I mention I'm dating a picky eater and I'm into food?) so I wanted to have one success for the day, yesterday...so I didn't tell you and I'm sorry."

I expected the worst or at least an "Eww! Why didn't you toss 'em?"

And that man I love, Ox as you now know him ... he says "Oh no wonder you were in a mood (which I totally was)! They taste fine and I packed them for lunch. You are a good girl and that's why I love you."

And that, friends, is the power of a lil' sprinkle of floor spice.